


i wish i were heather . . .

by nbyshawn



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Emotional, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, One Shot, Song Lyrics, Song: Heather (Conan Gray), Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 14:02:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30140664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nbyshawn/pseuds/nbyshawn
Summary: in which bucky wishes he were peggy when her & steve start up a relationship.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	i wish i were heather . . .

**_i still remember , third of december . me in your sweater . you said it looked better on me than it did you ._ **

december third. bucky could recite that day from start to end if asked to do so. sure, he doesn’t have exactly a lot of fond memories recently, but he could so easily tell someone everything that happened. him and steve, his best friend and dorm mate, always walked to school together every morning. it was like their thing almost. it was a particularly chilly morning that day and of course, bucky had forgotten to bring a jacket. that didn’t matter though. as they were walking the chilly campus streets, steve happened to catch a glimpse of his friend shivering and was quick to take off his sweater, handing it to bucky. he kept insisting he’d be okay, but the taller of the two wasn’t having it. he eventually put the sweater on and the next words out of steve’s mouth left a faint blush on the other’s cheeks.

_‘keep the sweater, buck. it looks much better on you than it ever did me.’_

**_only if you knew , how much i liked you ._ **

bucky’s crush on steve wasn’t as secretive as he liked to believe. a part of him knew their entire group could see the heart eyes the brunette always had when steve was around, but of course he was always oblivious. not like it actually mattered though, steve was always more oblivious than he ever was. he had no notice to the heart eyes or how his mood would improve whenever he was around. hell, he was like that with himself too. rogers never knew when he had a crush on someone until his friends brought it up to him.

**_but i watch your eyes as she walks by , what a sight for sore eyes_**. . .

this is truly the moment when things started to change for bucky and his not to secretive crush on his childhood best friend. a new girl transferred to their college, peggy. he only caught her name because steve couldn’t stop gushing about how beautiful she was. sure, she was a pretty gal but he had no interest in her. the first time they even saw her was when she was walking into the lunchroom and passed by the group’s table. steve couldn’t take his eyes off of her and at that moment, bucky felt a feeling he really hadn’t felt before. a small sting was in his chest, tugging around his heart as he watched his friend gaze at someone. he soon realized he felt jealous for the first time in his life.

**_she’s got you mesmerized , while i die ._ **

the next couple of weeks were spent with peggy joining the group per steve’s request. bucky couldn’t help but feel like he was slowly dying every time she would come around. he did feel bad, he had nothing against her. she was a sweet girl and he could honestly see why steve liked her so much, but he was still jealous over this new attraction to someone that his friend had. he was absolutely mesmerized by her, his eyes never left her for anything. in all honesty, he felt like he was slowly losing his best friend as he became more infatuated with the girl.

**_why would you ever kiss me ? i’m not even half as pretty ._ **

the kindled friendship between steve and peggy slowly turned to romance as their lunchtime talks turned into make out sessions that the whole group had to suffer around. they weren’t even fully dating yet but the pair would be sucking each other’s faces off while everyone else was just trying to peacefully eat their food. everyone but bucky, that is. he really had no appetite during lunch due to all the lovey dovey shit happening around him. he would eat his lunch in his dorm while steve was off god knows where. sometimes while he had alone time, he just sat and thought. most of his thoughts were filled up by why steve didn’t like him as much as he liked peggy. why was he so infatuated with her when he’s been here the entire time? sometimes he felt like he wasn’t as pretty as peggy and maybe that’s why steve was so quickly drawn to her.

**_you gave her your sweater , it’s just polyester . . but you like her better ._ **

buckys heart felt like it was being stabbed and ripped right out his chest as he watched what was happening right in front of him. the sweater that steve gave him was now wrapped around peggy, engulfing her the way it did him but more. he felt tears threatening to fall from his eyes as she saw the pair come to their normal spot at the table. bucky had no idea steve had just taken the sweater back. he never even asked. if he was being honest with himself, steve hadn’t been the same. he wasn’t himself. ever since he got himself a girlfriend, he was a completely different person and was unrecognizable. steve’s favorite person in the entire world used to be bucky, but swiftly peggy took to replace him. the brunette knew that his friend liked his girlfriend better than him and his heart was being twisted every time he saw them together.

**_i wish i were heather . . ._ **

as much as he hated to admit it, bucky wished he were peggy. being able to kiss and be closer than necessary with steve. he wanted to be his boyfriend. he wanted to be _his_. but he couldn’t be and it was tearing him apart from the inside. all he could think about was steve but his heart was hurting from it all. every time the pair was near him all he could feel was his heart dropping to his stomach and his chest felt like it was being ripped apart from the inside. all he could do was wish to be peggy.

but deep down he knew that he would never be her.


End file.
